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Love Your Life

10 hours ago

Wednesday thoughts....I’m big on being my own best friend, and I mention it fairly frequently to people as a notion to get curious about. Plus I share the same tastes in music and humour with myself so rarely bored in my own company ☺️ Do I love myself? Yeah mostly. I do beat myself up a bit too and then apologise to myself and take myself out for a walk to clear the air. Loving ourselves is still seen as a tad radical yet the longest relationship we will ever have with anyone ever ever ever is with ourselves so for me it makes sense to get on with me and get loved up.....❤️ ... See MoreSee Less

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Love Your Life

20 hours ago

Wow....I remember this phenomenal artist on a documentary about 15? 20? years ago.

Do you remember him? 🙌🏼 ... See MoreSee Less

This Incredible British Artist Can Draw a Whole City From Memory

nationalgeographic.co.uk

Travel and Adventure This Incredible British Artist Can Draw a Whole City From Memory Diagnosed with autism at age three, Stephen Wiltshire is now famous for producing highly detailed scenes after jus...

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Love Your Life shared Single Mum Still Standing's post.

1 day ago

Why would you choose to not help pay for the upkeep of your children?

Why would you choose to try and control how child maintenance is spent?

Why would you choose to stalk your exes social media accounts?

Why would you choose to delay or purposefully ‘mess up’ payments to directly affect the continuity of care the resident parent provides your children?

Why would you choose to refuse to purchase birthday or Christmas presents for your child?

Why would you choose to refuse to take your children to clubs or social events (friends birthday parties for example) when they are with you?

This is systematic and chronic abuse by non-resident parent to resident parent. Why would you choose to act in this way?

Do you understand that whilst it certainly affects the resident parent it actually leads to psychologically harming your own children. What about them?

Do you understand why you do this? Is it because of jealousy, anger, ego, resentment, inability to behave with dignity and a chronic (there is that word again) need for power?

An overhaul of the system is required.

Yes this shit makes me angry....An open letter to the father who won’t pay child maintenance…..

Any child maintenance payments made by you to me do not pay for my holidays. I don’t use YOUR money to pay for my clothes, and your payments certainly don’t fund my minor prosecco addiction.

Your hard-earned cash doesn’t help me pay my gym membership or go into my savings account. (Which doesn’t exist.)

So when you stalk my Instagram and Facebook and see me making the most of my child-free weekends with friends – rest assured I am funding this. In the words of Destiny’s Child, ‘The shoes on my feet, I bought em - I depend on me, if I want it.’

Let me spell this out for you – any money you pay to help with the raising of our children goes directly to our children. I’ve got two jobs to fund my own lifestyle and pay for our children. It’s a simple concept you don’t seem to be able to grasp.

So you’re barking up the wrong tree when you bitterly tell me I should maybe “go out less” when I challenge you over your child maintenance payments.

So, what should child maintenance payments cover?
I admit, it goes towards my mortgage – the house which puts a roof over our children’s heads for 11 nights in 14. Their home. It also helps with the associated costs of running that home. I hope you will agree, they need a home.

What are the consequences of you not contributing towards their home? Let me tell you, it could result in us needing to find a cheaper home, in a less desirable area, and without a doubt mean a change in school.

Your money helps to put clothes on their backs, it contributes towards the laundry powder used to wash said clothes. It pays towards their school uniform which is down to me to purchase, and the school trips which I fund.

The money pays towards their swimming lessons that I take them to, which you've never showed up to, because I want them to have that life skill, it pays for our son’s football coaching and matches. (He’s doing well by the way, you really should take the time to come and watch him – he would be amazed if you turned up.)

It helps pay for their birthday parties with their friends which your wife won’t let you attend because even after all this time she’s still jealous of you and I being in contact.

It also buys the birthday presents, and thank god I do, because on our daughter’s fifth birthday, despite having her for two hours after school, you didn’t give her yet one single present. Imagine if I'd done the same as you that day - she wouldn’t have got anything for her birthday.

Your money helps to keep our children in Clarks shoes, because their feet blister if I buy anything cheaper. It pays towards childcare, or did you think nursery was free when I used it one day a week so I could work? Do you think after-school clubs are free?

You should take a walk in my shoes one day and you will see your cash is key to providing the lifestyle our children deserve.

So, what Child Maintenance should you pay?
The law requires a non-resident parent to pay 12 per cent of your gross weekly income if you have one child and 16 per cent of your gross weekly income to the resident parent if you have two children. All I ask for is what this Government says non-resident parents should pay. Nothing more, nothing less. And realise it's not my rules.

That’s it, 16 per cent. So it’s not going to leave you short is it? It’s not going to de-home you from your five bedroom house. I wish I could pay 16 per cent of what I earn and have it cover an all-inclusive rate for everything my children need and want – wow I’d be rich. You see I spend pretty much every penny I earn on our children.

I know that not paying, not paying on time, or not paying the correct amount is the very last bit of control you have over me. You must feel so powerful when you hold it back for five days, because you can and there’s nothing I can do about it. What man you are.

Unlike a credit card, you continue to choose to not properly pay for our children a) Because nobody knows and b) because the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) are so useless they aren’t even worth bothering with.

It’s too easy to hide with the CMS. Non-resident parents can either run their own business/become self employed and hide any dividends or, work cash in hand so they can keep it all.

You're actually very cunning, because you do pay - to the penny - what the CMS order you to pay, so on paper you can "prove" you pay towards your children's upbringing "properly."

If I ever mention it you simply say "I pay what the CMS tell me to, end of." You've got yourself covered - but you and I both know that's not the full story.

The CMS order you an amount to pay based on the amount YOU have declared to them - but the small wage you pay yourself is not a true reflection of what you actually earn. You’re just so clever - exploiting a loophole to financially abuse our children.

I bet I receive a lot more money in maintenance than many other single parents, some would be grateful of what I receive, but why should our children have 16 per cent of a false income, made up by you, when they're entitled to more?

I speak on behalf of all single parents when I say this simply isn't good enough, the current UK system isn't good enough. MPs need to wake up and do more to give the CMS better powers to financially investigate non-resident parents.

It's a problem which affects thousands of single parent families, one many feel they can't do anything about, but one I'm not prepared to let go. I am fighting this for our children, not for me.

You also refuse to talk to me about it or answer my letters about it. So if you’re wondering why I’ve resorted to this, that is why. If only you would treat me like a human being and actually have a conversation with me about our children’s needs. You’ve had plenty of requests, even via solicitors.

All I’m asking is that you properly declare your full earnings to the CMS, so the toothless organisation can inform you of the correct amount to contribute, and that when they do, you pay that amount on time. Not difficult.

The British Government gives our children more financial support then you do. Think about that for a moment.

No matter what happened between you and the woman you once loved enough to father two children with, you still have a financial responsibility towards your children. Just because you hate me, don’t make them suffer.

Dear father who won’t pay child support, you’re useless and I don’t know how you live with yourself. All I know is that I am trying to provide a life which is similar to what they would have had if you and I had not split up. It’s not their fault we couldn’t live together.

You failing to pay is just another parenting fail. It’s just as bad as failing to turn up to our son’s Christmas play after promising him you would be there. It’s on a par with refusing to take our son to his much-loved football on YOUR weekends, it's just like making our daughter stop her dance class on the day you have her. The list goes on.

I don’t expect you to do the right thing. You are a rubbish father. Luckily, they have me. ... See MoreSee Less

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Love Your Life

1 day ago

A bit of science this morning....✌🏼

How bacteria are changing your mood www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43815370 ... See MoreSee Less

How bacteria are changing your mood

bbc.co.uk

Scientists think "mood microbes" are a new frontier for improving the health of the brain.

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The Visioning Room

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